


All of you, I will hold

by melonbutterfly



Category: Actor RPF, Captain America (Movies) RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Accidental Kissing, First Kiss, M/M, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2014-11-19
Packaged: 2018-02-26 05:39:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2640107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melonbutterfly/pseuds/melonbutterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So Chris doesn't really mean to kiss Sebastian (except in the ways he does), it just happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All of you, I will hold

**Author's Note:**

  * For [luninosity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/luninosity/gifts).



> The title is from Josh Record's song "Bones".  
> The premise comes from the Friends episode [The One With Rachel's Inadvertent Kiss](http://friends.wikia.com/wiki/The_One_With_Rachel%27s_Inadvertent_Kiss). The idea was too cute to resist.

First of all, Chris would like for it to go on record that this is Not His Fault.

They're in Sebastian's trailer, lunch break extended because of unexpected tech adjustments or somesuch, and Sebastian's being his usual cheeky self – or no, not really. Well, Chris wouldn't say that Sebastian _isn't_ cheeky, but he's shy and seems to have the inherent ability to adapt his behavior to whoever he's talking to. It's subtle and Chris is pretty sure it's not even on purpose, but he's seen Sebastian go from respectful to flirty to warm depending on who he's talking to. It's not- Sebastian isn't false or anything, that's not it at all, and Chris can tell the difference. There's always a glimpse of Sebastian shimmering through, no matter who he's talking to – he's always a little shy, always a little cheeky. He simply seems to have a way of display facets of his personality more prominently depending on the situation and what he feels is appropriate. How much he can get away with sometimes, really.

Chris, well. Probably should pay less attention to his co-stars, actually. Co-star, singular, because while he does pay attention to the others, it doesn't compare to how much he pays attention to Sebastian. He realized it pretty early on, this little quirk of Sebastian's, and he finds it fascinating, the way Sebastian can get along with just about anyone. Chris, who can't seem to get out of his own skin unless he's playing a character who has a name and a history, is captivated, watching him, trying to figure him out.

And, of course, trying to find out who Sebastian is when he's with him, and how close it is to, well. He wouldn't say "real Sebastian" because it's all real, but he wants to know who Sebastian is when he isn't with anybody, when he doesn't adapt himself to suit the expectations of his audience.

To be honest, and Chris tries to be honest with himself because anything else just leads to anxiety, he learned this the hard way – to be honest, Chris is fascinated. _Enthralled_ , even, and yes, he is well aware of the implications.

He'd thought it'd wear off after the first movie. The shiny newness of Sebastian's presence in his life would fade the same way Sebastian himself faded from Chris' life after The First Avenger wrapped up, when the press tours and red carpet appearances were done and over with. He had not expected to see Sebastian again for the second movie, but when he found out he'd been nothing less than ecstatic about it, which really was all the proof he needed.

So, it's not just the newness of Sebastian. Because Sebastian isn't new anymore, except he somehow still is because Chris still can't stop watching him, half trying to figure out, half just reveling in his presence. He considers himself... well, blessed, actually, that somehow out of all the fascinating people around them, Sebastian would pick _Chris_ to spend so much of his time with. Not all of it, he doesn't obviously single Chris out, but they do see each other a lot, schedules permitting. More than they did during the last movie, even, and that's saying something, considering how little screen time they actually have together this time around. They just moved their interaction to off-set, off-screen, which makes it more private, more intimate.

And Chris is staring again, and Sebastian is talking about Robert and filming with him and how nervous he'd been, laughing about himself and teasing Chris about the story Chris just told him about how he had made an ass of himself in front of Samuel pretty much their first real meeting, and Chris should probably do less creepy staring and more interacting.

At least I didn't walk into a fridge, Chris means to say, has opened his mouth already, but right at that moment his mobile rings and he can't distract Sebastian from noticing how dumbly, almost dazedly Chris has been staring at him anymore. He picks up, finds out they've changed some things around and he's needed on set, five minutes ago. Why isn't he there already?

"Nobody told me I needed to be there! I was actually sent away!" Chris protests, getting to his feet and slipping into his shoes, left at the door. Sebastian has a thing about shoes in indoor, home-like places. Chris still isn't sure if he's serious about it or if he's pulling Chris' leg and unnecessarily stressing the European roots thing. He vaguely notices Sebastian getting up as well, but he's too busy listening to the PA who called him, telling him that he's back on and he better hoof it. Already, Chris is second-guessing himself, wondering if he shouldn't have left set after all, but they did send him away, they explicitly said he could go take a break, he is still in costume and make-up too and it's not like he left the site-

"Here," Sebastian says, holding out a travel mug containing, Chris presumes, the last of the coffee they brewed earlier. "Go on. I'll see you in a bit, yeah?"

Coffee, Chris thinks, but what he means is _Sebastian_ , being too sweet to be real, and Chris was just about to work himself into an anxiety spiral that Sebastian somehow managed to derail before it even got any traction. That, well, that's not easy to achieve.

" _Thank you_ ," Chris says, probably too heartfelt considering it's just coffee, but Sebastian somehow figured out what was happening and poured it for him and is now smiling at him, and well. Chris is in love. Nevermind the coffee.

So, it's probably half his own fault. But the other half of the blame firmly lies with Sebastian, who reaches around Chris, arm brushing his as he opens the door behind Chris. "Have fun at work, dear," he says, tone teasing but smile sweet, and.

And Chris says "Thank you," again, and then he leans in and brushes a kiss to Sebastian's lips, almost absent-minded except for how it's really, really not. Automatic, perhaps, even though it's been years since Chris lived with somebody in a romantic sense, kisses at the door.

He sees Sebastian's eyes widen, thinks, oh shit, turns around and jumps down the stairs leading up to Sebastian's trailer, hurries off into the direction of the set, shoulders pulled up and hands wrapped tight around the metal travel mug.

So, that is a thing he did.

Nobody yells at him when he gets on set, he just gets ushered to make-up to fix whatever he ruined by smiling too much or something, and then he's on again and it's easy to fall into Steve Rogers, let him settle over his shoulders like a cape and forget the part where he kissed Sebastian like that's the sort of thing they do, where he treated the situation like Sebastian was his boyfriend seeing him off for work at the front door. Superficially, all the clues were there, but.

He kissed Sebastian. His lips were soft and it was over too fast and Sebastian looked _shocked_.

Oh god.

So, he actually doesn't forget about it at all, but he's a professional, he can push it aside. But between takes he remembers, and he keeps flushing, somewhere between mortification and anxiety. What's Sebastian going to say? What's he going to _do_?

But, it occurs to Chris a couple of hours in, it's not actually Sebastian's job to say or do anything. Chris is the one who did something, so he's the one who should do or say something about it.

Probably, he should apologize. It's surprising how much the thought galls him. An apology means I regret I have done this, or I regret that this happened, but Chris, to be honest, does neither. Oh, he does, he shouldn't have done it, he didn't have a right to treat Sebastian like that, like he'd been given permission to kiss, invade private space when he hadn't, but Chris... well, he has to apologize for that, definitely. But he doesn't want to imply... he did make a mistake, yes. But he doesn't feel bad about the kiss itself. Or about wanting to do it. He only feels bad about acting on that want without having been given any sort of permission.

Those thoughts in his head he, after filming, after showers and after he's out of his costume but before dinner (even though he's starving, but this has priority even over food) slowly makes his way back to Sebastian's trailer. He's half hoping, half dreading that Sebastian might not be there anymore, actually he doesn't even know if Sebastian still had to film today, he very well might not have to. But the lights are on inside, and after listening for a moment Chris doesn't hear any voices so it's reasonable to assume that Sebastian is alone.

Even if he weren't Chris would have done it, but it's a lot easier to step up to Sebastian's door and knock than it would have been knowing Sebastian was probably going to send him away, had visitors already.

He doesn't hear movement inside, they're just trailers but they're at least semi-well isolated. The door just suddenly opens and there Sebastian is, in thick, black-white mottled socks, black jeans that are too tight not to make it hard to look away from the way they accentuate long, strong legs, and a loose hoodie that actually... might be Chris'.

"Hey," Chris says, a little dazed at the thought of Sebastian wearing his hoodie. That _is_ his, right? It's got the Boston Bruins logo on the chest but...

It probably is his. Oh god. Chris forgets every carefully planned-out word.

"Hey," Sebastian says, steps aside to let Chris in wordlessly.

Chris can't read his expression at all. He enters Sebastian's trailer, looks around pointlessly for a second as Sebastian closes the door after him. Then he remembers the travel mug, stuffed into the front pocket of his hoodie. The one he has on himself, that is, not the other one. Because that's Chris' hoodie Sebastian is wearing.

Travel mug! Right.

"Thanks," Chris blurts, pulling it out and handing it back to Sebastian, presenting it like a token.

Sebastian takes it back, eyeing Chris a bit before one corner of his mouth curls up. "What, no kiss this time? After I went through the trouble of lending you my precious travel mug?"

It actually is his precious travel mug. It's Sebastian's lifeline on early mornings, Chris is well-aware of this.

Just. Kiss.

"I'm sorry," Chris blurts out, and Sebastian falters, visibly withdraws even though he doesn't move a muscle and fuck, that didn't come out right. "I mean. I'm sorry I kissed you without permission. But I'd. Like to do that again. With permission this time I mean! Obviously."

Sebastian blinks once, and then a wide smile breaks out over his face. "Yes. I'd like that. You would? I mean, permission granted. Very much granted."

"Oh good," Chris hears himself say. He feels a bit dazed. More so than before. Did.... that really just happen?

Sebastian blinks at him, smile wide and sweet and oh, it really did.

Wait. Sebastian said _yes_. Chris can-

He cups Sebastian's face with both hands, frames that irresistible jaw, Sebastian's skin warm against his palms, his fingertips, stubble tickling. As he leans in Sebastian's eyes widen, and then Chris is too close, he's so close, that's Sebastians' breath on his face, he's not smiling anymore, and their lips meet, and. It's so much _better_ than that other kiss. Sebastian is reciprocating, for one, mouth tilted up and welcoming, lips soft and plump and warm. It's... perfect.

Chris stops thinking and only focuses on how it feels, Sebastian's lips silky-soft, moving gently against his, heart pounding in his chest, and there's a slight tug on his hoodie, Sebastian pulling him closer, and they lean into each other for a moment before they slowly part.

Dazed, Chris stares at Sebastian, his irresistible red lips, his blue, blue eyes, the pretty flush on his cheeks.

Sebastian swallows and says, "Wow."

Wow alright. Chris huffs a slight laugh, half made of relief. "You won't believe how long I've been wanting to do this."

"If it's as long as I've been wanting to, I really won't, because if it's as long as I've been wanting to we both must be pretty dumb not to have done anything about it sooner," Sebastian says.

He has a point. Still, or maybe exactly for that reason, Chris better not mention their first meeting, how hard it'd been to focus on anything but Sebastian's lips, swollen and red from how he'd been chewing them anxiously.

He could just kiss them instead. He _can_ just kiss them instead, right now, he's been given permission, explicitly so. Sebastian wants him to. So he does, and Sebastian smiles into the kiss, eyes bright, and it's wonderful.


End file.
